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Temasek Polytechnic,
Food Science & Nutrition
♥SALVO DRUMS
visitors, as of 7March2009
YAY . i screwed up my English EOY oral . i kept humming & hawing , & around 10 times of "lah" at the end of sentences.i was nervous , & e examiner's eyes was so big that she frightened me .then when the examiner (mdm janet chua) told me i had to kick the habit of saying "lah" at the end of sentences , i said okay.Then the next sentence , i ended with "lah" again . fuck .I'm so dead .whatever .Maybe some of you will say 'aiya oral only, no big deal' .or some of those who're more positive , would say 'try harder next time , it's not e O's , & it's not like the end of the world !! ' hmm i don't think y'all would understand failure as clearly as i do - esp for those who're so freaking genius in like , EVERYTHING .like my cousin & some ppl in class .almost everything i do seems to fail .y'all don't understand the feeling of failing :-maths since sec2-failing lit for midyr (practically NO ONE cold fail lit , except me !)-not catching any bass notes for piano aural (supposed to sing) even though the teacher had already played it alot of times , the bass super loudly & obviously-singing super flatly & sounding like shit for aural training-trying to play a new song & not making much progress despite having tried for a week , (& im going try for grade 8 soon)-to memorise geography notes and having grass in your head during the exams-studying like mad & preparing 2 wks early for e midyr , & get one hell of a 27th out of 37th .& also ,-getting said to be fat by relatives during new year (2007) ,-being said 'aiyoh , why so stupid ?!! ' by a neighbour COUNTLESS OF TIMES , -praying to God & He doesn't seem to answer , though i've tried not to have doubts .Nah , i don't think anyone can understand. The saying goes, 'always aim for the sky , for if you fall , at least you'll reach the clouds .' , & i think that's bullshit . I've learnt something new today though .you don't always reap what you sow .i hv thoughts of committing suicide , by just jumping down from the 28th floor at hm , or , put rat poison in e coffee & drink it (good way to die) , or simply just use a penknife to slash at your neck's artery , & blood will spurt out , & you'll die in a couple of mins . oh , ain't that great ?then , no more sufferings ! what a great relief !but i feel sorry & also 很对不起 my parents if i really do that . so i think i won't do that . haha . well my blog is on hiatus starting from this minute onwards till one month later , i think .我的祷告，你听到了吗？如果你听到我的祈求，为何不帮我呢？还是我做错了什么？你告诉我好吗？BYEBYE !
♥ 5:54:00 PM
